Maybe it's the part of me that was drawn to studying theater and performance. Maybe it's my proximity to my adopted hometown, the City of Brotherly Love. Maybe I'm channeling Scarlet O'Hara. Maybe I'm just partial to grand gestures.
Whatever it is, I feel driven to declare things. To try to orate feeling into physical existence. I'm in the habit of grabbing the Feelings (yep, these are capital F feelings, proper nouns, with their own distinct personalities) that boil and grow and melt and coil inside of me and releasing them in word form. Sometimes they'll sneak out quietly, written in the margin of a favorite book or scribbled on a blank page in my nearest journal. Such declarations don't ask for much beyond release.
Then there are the declarations that build inside of me, harnessing their potential energy into a giant, kinetic explosion. These declarations are often messy with my pals Pent-up Anger, Pushed-down Frustration, and Self-doubting Guilt. These declarations are not organized or logical. They're loud, raucous, and high-strung. They've been known to scare people, especially me. I'm normally a fairly composed, if highly sensitive and hyper-empathetic person. These shocking outbursts of raw emotion don't quite jive with my idea of myself, with my "go with the flow" mentality.
That's what this blog is for. I want some middle ground. So, I declare that I will use this blog to let my feelings, thoughts, ideas, wonderings, memories, embarrassments, triumphs and musings out there. I declare my intention to take control of my life and happiness, through writing.
Ahhh. Much better.
